Don: If you want to take the relationship
to the next step it's good to live together
Dana: I don't agree, especially after divorce and kids and later in life, living together isn't as necessary as it is when you're young and wanting to form a family.
Don: That's true initially but when you’re older you don't want to be a single person
Dana: Who is a single person, you're still a couple.
Don: Living together has the benefit of companionship and that feels like a real relationship, instead of it feeling like you are single
Dana: I get that, but then living together can be too confining especially as we get older we are set in our ways. Plus I did the "playing house" long ago, I don't feel the need to.
Dana: I don't agree, especially after divorce and kids and later in life, living together isn't as necessary as it is when you're young and wanting to form a family.
Don: That's true initially but when you’re older you don't want to be a single person
Dana: Who is a single person, you're still a couple.
Don: Living together has the benefit of companionship and that feels like a real relationship, instead of it feeling like you are single
Dana: I get that, but then living together can be too confining especially as we get older we are set in our ways. Plus I did the "playing house" long ago, I don't feel the need to.
Don: It's important that you get
your space, having alone time and private space. We would have to make arrangements with time
and space
Dana: I wouldn’t want to move into together for financial reasons, since this has proven to be a problem in the past, two incomes afford a nice place but then what happens when one can no longer maintain the lifestyle due to job loss, kid’s expense, things like that?
Don: Yes but we can have a place that’s a little more money than one of us wants to spend so it’s a bigger place, but then instead of paying for two places, say $3000 each which is $6000 we would have one place say around $4000 and save the rest and put it away.
Dana: You make a good argument, I'm just worried about having that alone time. When would I get it?
Don: We would make arrangements, you can go into another room
Dana: Yes, I could but I'll know you're still in the apartment, I'll feel your presence
Don: Yes, I know that, you're sensitive that way.
Dana: I like the idea of knowing that for a few days out of the week I can finish work or have an afternoon where there's no need to explain or schedule anything with anyone.
Don: I like that too, but I also feel the companionship piece over rides this.
Dana: That's because you grew up with a lot of interactive parents and family
and I grew up with a lot less than that, everyone did their own thing and rarely had to check in.
Don: It is very different, so what do we do?
Dana: There is no easy answer but i want to be able to give you what you need
Don: And i want to do the same for you.
Dana: I wouldn’t want to move into together for financial reasons, since this has proven to be a problem in the past, two incomes afford a nice place but then what happens when one can no longer maintain the lifestyle due to job loss, kid’s expense, things like that?
Don: Yes but we can have a place that’s a little more money than one of us wants to spend so it’s a bigger place, but then instead of paying for two places, say $3000 each which is $6000 we would have one place say around $4000 and save the rest and put it away.
Dana: You make a good argument, I'm just worried about having that alone time. When would I get it?
Don: We would make arrangements, you can go into another room
Dana: Yes, I could but I'll know you're still in the apartment, I'll feel your presence
Don: Yes, I know that, you're sensitive that way.
Dana: I like the idea of knowing that for a few days out of the week I can finish work or have an afternoon where there's no need to explain or schedule anything with anyone.
Don: I like that too, but I also feel the companionship piece over rides this.
Dana: That's because you grew up with a lot of interactive parents and family
and I grew up with a lot less than that, everyone did their own thing and rarely had to check in.
Don: It is very different, so what do we do?
Dana: There is no easy answer but i want to be able to give you what you need
Don: And i want to do the same for you.
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