If your spouse is GAY

when your dating your man or woman and you suspect he or she may be gay what do you do?
The possibility is that they may be bi-sexual which is most likely. Your relationship may become serious and end up in marriage with children. And like any other marriage it is prone to infidelity if the connection is lost.
Chances are your spouse may turn to another partner either the opposite sex like you or want to explore their homosexual relationship. When this happens their is sometimes a feeling of betrayal not only the infidelity but the betrayal of truth about sexuality. If you suspect that your partner may be gay it is best for them to explore this before the commitment of marriage. Suppressing the truth will only hurt everyone eventually.
www.mediationandcounseling.com and www.danagreco.com to learn more.

" if you want a man to really commit to you seduce you, chase you, and keep that spark going forever you can't just make him love you, you've got to make him ADDICTED to you ."

 We heard this from a "relationship expert" What do you think? Does addiction mean healthy relationship.
What is being addicted to you partner really mean?
We will continue to help you with your relationship needs go to
www.mediationandcounseling.com and www.danagreco.com

Saturday Night Date for couples

http://www.meetup.com/NYC-Relationships-After-Divorce/events/161192862/
 go here and sign up want to get to know your partner more? make your relationship LAST?
join us for our get together this Saturday
refreshments will be served and conversation will be for allhttp://www.meetup.com/NYC-Relationships-After-Divorce/events/161192862/
Who we are:www.mediationandcounseling.com and www.danagreco.com

Einstein was correct!

he said " women marry men and hope they will change, and men marry women hoping they will never change, inevitably both are disappointed" many couples marry and secretly think this very thing. Are you in a relationship that maybe, just maybe there are little personality nuances you would like to see tweeked, enhanced or completely omitted?
our soon to be published book "Happy Today Divorced Tomorrow, paving the way to happily ever after" will cover this and many other topics that will make your relationship work better than ever.
go to Happytodaydivorcetomorrow.com find us on fB go to facebook/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow, mediationandcounseling.com or danagreco.com

Happy Today Divorced Tomorrow THE BOOK

Our book is just about completed. Soon you will be on your way to Happily Ever After
As I read through I am very excited for the readers who buy this book. It has so much insight into what really goes into a relationship and how it can screw up or how it can succeed. We are going to see a drop in divorce which keeps us to our word of waging war on divorce. Maybe mediation won't be about separating assets but negotiating successful marriages.
Stay in touch so you will know when OUR book is out and ready for YOU

GO to our websites:www.mediationandcounseling.com www.facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow, www.danagreco.com

LIVING TOGETHER YET?

Should you live together or live apart? How do you know if it's time to move into together? Financial savings should not be the reason, unless you also accept that the relationship can end up with you both as roommates paying your share.
Moving into together can have its pros and cons. This is where you both should make a list and be honest.
For example, if you have a need for personal time, then tell him or her. Sitting on your bed or on the couch with a book, watching TV or staring at your laptop means, "I like to be alone for a bit". That's perfectly normal and acceptable, what wouldn't be fair is if you never shared that vital piece of information. Then when you are overwhelmed with too much together time suddenly your behavior changes, to the negative.

Each of you may have a different perspective of what is shared time, living together time, alone time, etc. If one of you works in the home, it doesn't mean that when your finished for the day you are ready to be social. Yet, the partner who is home also, is.
Living together can add excitement and more passion or be a disaster. Setting boundaries and discussing them will make an adjustment a pleasant one.
www.mediationandcounselng.com, www.facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow.com

www.danagreco.com

SEX TONE

Who sets the tone for intimacy in your relationship? Is it him, because he is a man and needs to have his 72 hour sex cycle satisfied? Or is it her who feels lonely or rejected and needs to cuddle?
What and who initiates the affection in your relationship? Does it include sex and toys and adventure, or is it about love and romance? Is it about both, and if so who suggests what? Or do neither one of you say anything and it remains the same routine. Are you both wanting to enhance, or is just one of you thinking that? And the other is fine with the way it is as long as it is consistent. Well MAKE UP YOUR MIND. If the love and affection and the sex in your relationship can be better and more exciting maybe because one of you took the initiative to do something about it, then instead of thinking your partner is a pervert allow and encourage an upgrade. Go for the GOLD www.danagreco.com www.meditationandcounseling.com
http://www.meetup.com/philosophical-couples/events/157394342/ JOIN OUR GROUP BECOME A MEMBER

CHEATING HEARTS

As mentioned about why men cheat, there are reasons why Women cheat. This information I found to be interesting, as I did my research. They are not necessarily the same reasons why men cheat, so we can't lump cheating into one big lumps sum of betrayal.
1. Women get close very easily
2 we are emotional sponges.
3. we are progressive, we move fast,
4 accustomed to the dangers of drama and excitement around relational drama.
5.we can fall out of love quickly and decide we no longer like our mate.
6.women cheat when they are emotionally vulnerable
7. women gravitate  toward men who make them feel good
That's enough for now, but there's more.
For more info go to our websitewww.mediationandcounseling.com find us on facebook www.facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow or www.danagreco.com

CHEATERS

 What are the characteristics of a man who CHEATS?
Dr Irwin Marcus discovers that cheating isn't only about sex it's about the man's deep-seeded issues, Take a look at his list of personality issues that drive a man to affairs. Do any of these look familiar?
The Adulteen
The Playmate
The Pleasure seeker
The Conquistador
The Sampler
The Independent
The daredevil
The aging Fear
Search for New Spouse
The Troubled Man beyond
If your partner or you recognize these and want to stop, you can, but you need professional help, So DO it and save your marriage.www.mediationandcouseling.com find us on FB faceboook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow or www.danagreco.com

THIRD PARTY-Your relationship

With the new year and new hope we as believers in New Beginnings want to mention that relationships are the most difficult journey to be on. Each of us must give up a piece of our selves if not a lot of ourselves in order to remain in a healthy environment. Some find this really difficult and some find this easy. Me, personally, I am challenged, I am becoming more set in my ways and it's harder for me to be flexible over things, events, ideas and concepts that don't appeal to me, yet I know that the outcome is worth it.
How about you? Do you truly appreciate what you have in your relationship? Are you willing to make the necessary sacrifices in order to meet your partner half way. I tell couples there are three of you not two. There's you, your partner, and the relationship. Investing in the relationship is when you don't want to do something or your partner doesn't but for the sake of the "relationship" it must get done, there must be an investment in the relationship, otherwise it will end up an empty account. Nothing.
If you know you have a good thing, then keep depositing into the relationship account, if you both make investments, sound and honest, then the account will grow and give you a wonderful, fulfilling, return, and then enjoy your abundance.
   click on the link and view our list for the upcoming year, resources meet up group, support groups and more about the work we are doing, https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?shva=1#inbox/14350a50bb4f610f

BORED with THE Chit Chat

Have you noticed that your repertoire has dwindled in your conversation with your partner? If it isn't about what you're planning to do this weekend, or what happened to your friend Carolyn and her boyfriend, or just moaning about job, latest TV show, subway, money, conversation has become nil? Scary. But is doesn't have to be that way. You MUST, as a couple infuse deep intellectual concepts into your repertoire if you want to keep the stimulation and excitement in your relationship.
Not everyone needs this. Some of you are happy enough, that's fine. But for some couples, at least an individual in the couple feels a yearning for new dialogue, new ways of communicating, infused riveting banter, even if it's once or twice a week. Doesn't have to be constant. There is a need for quiet, mindless time together too. But a balance of both will increase the intimacy and offer another layer of personality that you and your partner can enjoy, get to know, and grow from.
Edmund Husserl 19th century philosopher asks, " Are you willing to sacrifice the dross of conjecture for the pure gold of essential knowledge?"
Join us for our new group only 10 seats available.http://www.meetup.com/philosophical-couples/events/157394342/. join us on FB facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow,
Check out our websites:www.mediationandcounseling.com, www.danagreco.com

SEX and SANTA

With the Holidays and all this good cheer, Are you and your partner more sexually active, or not? Has the stress of gifts, family, spending money put a damper on your routine of romance? Maybe you are even fighting more because of the stress around the holidays. Well, there not suppose to interfere with your sex life.
What about the idea that your partner is hard to shop for. In that case get him or her something sexy to wear.
Something that is only between the two of you. He should think about getting you something romantic, why wait for Valentine's Day, that's stupid. There are plenty of opportunities to be romantic during the holiday rush so don't wait for Santa.www.facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow
www.mediationandcounseling.com ontact us for more information www.danagreco.com

WILL YOU CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNER?

What keeps you from cheating or betraying your partner? Is it that you hold the relationship you are in sacred? Are you afraid of getting caught? Or is your relationship so satisfying that no one else could be as wonderful or as loving as your partner?
There are many reasons why people cheat.One is the boredom, another is to get through a relationship without having to end it, or you are starved for needs that can't be met and someone comes along and fills that void. There are cheaters because the problems in the relationship are such that cheating is just an alarm to bigger problems that are going on.
Whether it's emotional or physical, stepping outside of the relationship is a cause for reassessment and a sit down with your mate.
If you are so unhappy and you feel you may be vulnerable and  the possibility of hurting the couple-hood you are in, before you go and allow someone else into your private space, (the relationship) then think twice and sit your man or woman down and express how you really feel.
If that other partner doesn't wake up and smell the coffee, you got huge problems. Better get some counseling. any comments? www.facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow or www.danagreco.com or read our articles on www.mediationandcounseling.com

WHY YOU WILL BE DIVORCED

DO you know why You will be Divorced?
Because what you think is True Love is really just True LUST.
Real Love doesn't divorce, Love may fight, love may hurt  but all in the name of PASSIONate committed LOVE,  LOVE doesn't discard or Leave or Divorce. LOVE DOESN'T Call Lawyers.
LUST will guarantee leaving, LUST is short lived. LUST Is selfish LUST is one dimensional, it finds fault, it fears being rejected, it's insecure,it's superior, it's inferior, it compares, it criticizes. LUST gets aroused and then quiets down. LOVE perpetuates LOVE is never quiet LOVE never ages, you are as beautiful as the moment you Fell into it. LUST Makes you fat, ugly, boring,mean, bitter. LOVE IS ALWAYS LOVE impenetrable.
Comment of our FB pagewww.facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow or go to www.mediationandcounseling.com or call for an appt to work on your relationshipwww.danagreco.com 

Is there Trust in your relationship?

Trust is the basis of a true partnership, without it there is nothing that keeps you together.
Not only is trust about affairs and infidelity it includes behaviors such as predictability, reliability,saying what you mean, speaking up for what you need, being open and receptive, and saying no for the purpose of self-preservation and self-esteem.
Trusting in yourself as to knowing who you are in the relationship has much to do with the ability to trust your partner in knowing who they are.
Seriously, what is the point if you  have to question your partners intentions, or wonder if what she says will she follow through. When she tells you one thing but does something else, It is a betrayal. And that hurts.
Follow us on www.facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow, or www.mediationandcounseling.com and www.danagreco.com

Is SEX his BINKY?

How often I hear women complain "He doesn't talk to me"  but then all he wants to do is have sex with me.
Have you thought that maybe sex for him is soothing and a means to connect for security? As much of a pacifier is to a baby, so sex is to some men, and some women. We are not gender bias, however, let's face it we hear the complaints more from the women. This may also be because you will rarely hear a man complain his partner always want to have sex? so we get it. point taken.

The issue here is what do you do about a partner who has difficulty communicating verbally? Leaving you feeling alone and then reaches out for a physical connection.  Most times you will give in, of course you are starved for the connection.  The problem never goes away. Next time, when he or she shuts you out or limits the verbal, ask your partner to share a thought with you. Ask your partner to tell you one good thing that happened that day.  Foreplay can be verbal and/or physical.  As you touch and stroke, share thoughts, not necessarily emotions because this may be too awkward.  Talk about anything and let your partner do the talking.   It needs to get out of the head and out of his mouth.

Join our Facebook Group to start your own discussion about your relationship or join other people's discussion.

Look for us at www.mediationandcounseling.com or www.danagreco.com

What Happened to OUR LOVE?

As part of this next group of Blogs We would like to address the lack of desire that occurs in a marriage. We see this in our practice quite often. The truth is that one partner truly wishes the relationship was what it once was. You remember, the laughing, the closeness, that no matter what each other was thinking, it was good it was accepted and it all made sense and you could laugh about it. Not like now, when everything he says or she says, is annoying, stupid, or nails on a chalkboard. This adverse effect has much to do with your disappointment about the loss of your love.
Tell each other how sad you are about the change in your relationship. In early years you would have been able to say how you felt. Take a baby step and gently tell your partner how you feel. without blame, stick to your feelings, and try to be empathetic. Just say " I miss the old days when we were really great with each other" Then walk away nicely! join us on FB www.facebook.com/groups/happytodaydivorcedtomorrow
www.mediationandcounseling.com or contact www.danagreco.com

HOLIDAY FROM HELL

Around the end of the year, many bad marriages find their resting place. She say's by next Christmas "I will not be spending the holiday with this stupid man!", and she means it.So the divorce paper trail begins. This makes for the one holiday that sucks. It's awkward, it's bitter, and the kids are dreading it, because mom and dad can't get through the day without fighting, ruining their Christmas. Bah Hum Bug! You're scrooge, she's scrooge, the holidays this year can't be over soon enough.
This is so sad.
The holidays are for the kids, let's not forget. They have one one childhood and much of  their adulthood will
be defined by this childhood. So suck it up with the Mr. Keep the holiday cheer up, even if it means drinking a couple of extra Eggnogs. Next year it won't be so bad. Make it special for the kids, If they have a Christmas filled with tension and hostility this  will shadow over all the wonderful ones they had in the past.. We know you  both miss the joy of the early Christmases when the Love and the Marriage was good. Be civil and kind to that spouse that despises you now for whatever reason, you can make the Holidays special for you and the kids so try to do your best. It will be noticed.
Keep us informed and we will support you.

Join our war against Divorce by joining our facebook group

For more about us go to www.mediationandcounseling.com or contact www.danagreco.com

Should You Live Together?

Don:  If you want to take the relationship to the next step it's good to live together
Dana:  I don't agree, especially after divorce and kids and later in life, living together isn't as necessary as it is when you're young and wanting to form a family.
Don:  That's true initially but when you’re older you don't want to be a single person
Dana:  Who is a single person, you're still a couple.
Don:  Living together has the benefit of companionship and that feels like a real relationship, instead of it feeling like you are single
Dana:  I get that, but then living together can be too confining especially as we get older we are set in our ways.  Plus I did the "playing house" long ago, I don't feel the need to.

Don:  It's important that you get your space, having alone time and private space.  We would have to make arrangements with time and space
Dana:  I wouldn’t want to move into together for financial reasons, since this has proven to be a problem in the past, two incomes afford a nice place but then what happens when one can no longer maintain the lifestyle due to job loss, kid’s expense, things like that?
Don:  Yes but we can have a place that’s a little more money than one of us wants to spend so it’s a bigger place, but then instead of paying for two places, say $3000 each which is $6000 we would have one place say around $4000 and save the rest and put it away.
Dana: You make a good argument, I'm just worried about having that alone time. When would I get it?
Don:  We would make arrangements, you can go into another room
Dana:  Yes, I could but I'll know you're still in the apartment, I'll feel your presence
Don:  Yes, I know that, you're sensitive that way.
Dana:  I like the idea of knowing that for a few days out of the week I can finish work or have an afternoon where there's no need to explain or schedule anything with anyone.
Don:  I like that too, but I also feel the companionship piece over rides this.
Dana:  That's because you grew up with a lot of interactive parents and family
and I grew up with a lot less than that, everyone did their own thing and rarely had to check in.
Don:  It is very different, so what do we do?
Dana:  There is no easy answer but i want to be able to give you what you need
Don:  And i want to do the same for you.

Should you talk to your partner about your suspicions when you think they are sneaking around?

Should you talk to your partner about your suspicions when you think they are sneaking around?
It's how and when you address it. Not accusatory and NOT when your in a fight which you may have started in order to bring it up.
If you think your partner is keeping something from you and it's eating away at you, then just come out and ask. Not easy I know, but you have no choice. Otherwise you will be wondering, pre-occupied and worse planning on ways of catching him or her. This is no way to live and no way to be in a relationship.

If you have a hunch that something with another person is going on behind your back, the fear that you are being made a fool of or even worse that your partner has feelings for someone else is consuming. In a calm mature way ask, "Can we talk" If the time is good for both of you then ask, "Are there things in this relationship that you need are not getting from me?" What you want to do is repair your relationship, if both of you feel good about each other, there is no room for anyone else." Start with this tactic. and see where it goes. You have time to assess and repair. No one is running off into the sunset. So don't blow it by being impatient.maintain the emotion.
Look for our book that's coming out soon HAPPY TODAY DIVORCED TOMORROW
Paving the way towards Happily Ever After.
For more info:www.danagreco.com and www.mediationandcounseling.com