Is Your Partner Still Focused on Their Ex?

#AreTheyOverTheirEx?                  A huge part of #ConsciousCoupling is "being here now" which means being 50% of the relationship, putting effort in, and focusing on your partner. However, sometimes it seems one person in the relationship is still hung up on their ex. Occasionally this is true, and sometimes it's not. We're here to help you determine whether or not your have something to worry about.   The first and most obvious sign is if they talk about their ex way too much. If it seems that every other story and memory they share with you or your friends has to do with their ex they might still have feelings for them. On the opposite end of the spectrum your partner never mentioning their ex could be a sign as well. Maybe they do it because you've already fought about it but if that isn't the case it could mean that they feel guilty for still having feelings for them and doesn't want to risk letting you find out.   Another sign is via social media; constant contact through Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, and the like with an ex could mean that they miss speaking to them. If they are doing this and are still completely invested in your relationship and you don't feel neglected at all, it's likely that it isn't threatening. But if it becomes that way then you should deal with it and have them cut the cord. If they say they can't that's a red flag. Again, a big part of #ConsciousCoupling is being able to talk about whatever is bothering you with your partner and not feeling judged or embarrassed. If you have a gut feeling that your partner isn't over their ex, talk to them. More often than not having a gut feeling about something indicates that there is something that needs to be dealt with.   The last big sign has to do with the bedroom. If you and your partner are having trouble having sex it could be an indication that someone is more focused on someone else and not the other person in the room. Additionally, if your partner says an ex's name during sex they're probably thinking about them at a time where the focus should be on you.                    OUR WAR ON DIVORCE   We are providing the tools and techniques to keep your relationship from heading down the path of divorce. Everything about your relationship takes work, some things more than others. We are not trying to stop your divorce if you have made the decision to do so, we are trying to make you aware of the things that would drive you and your partner down that path. Get the professional help your relationship deserves. Surprise yourself in finding the true happiness that you both deserve.  Soul mates are made and not found.          Learn More About What We Do: Divorce Mediators and Family Counseling  Non-profit as Family Advocates "Conscious Coupling" Book "Conscious Coupling", Our FB Page Dana's Individual and Couple's Counseling Dana Greco's Parent Book    Mediation and Counseling Spend time with your partner at the Paint Place - NEW interactive art studio on the Upper West Side of Manhattan  The Paint Place Parenting Book

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When Is It Okay to Talk About Your Ex?

#TalkingAboutYourEx                When is it okay to talk about your ex? When is it not? Part of #ConsciousCoupling is to know when to say certain things, and when to not.   Let's set a scene - you're in a bar and a man approaches you and offers to buy you a drink. You just respond with "thank you", you don't need to tell him about how the jerk who broke your heart and led you to be sitting in a bar alone. Fast forward a few months and you've been dating the same guy and he begins to invite his friends to the plans you had for just the two of you. This is similar to the reason you and your ex broke up - this is the time you can bring up your ex, because you are trying to save your relationship from ending the same way your last one did.   Openness, honesty, trust, and freedom to reveal things about yourself is what keeps a relationship strong. If a situation like the example occurs and your partner still doesn't want to hear about your ex/past then you should wonder why it makes them so uncomfortable because it could be an indication that they don't want the relationship to progress into something more serious.   So to sum it up, #ConsciousCoupling reminds you that you should feel free to talk about your ex/past when it is for the benefit of your relationship. When you're using your past as backup for an argument with your partner it makes it seem like your mind is still consumed with your past relationship, not your current one. You should feel comfortable talking about the bad parts of your past with your partner and if you don't then maybe they aren't "the one" for you. But if you're lucky enough to find someone who can sit there and listen to all the struggles you went through before you met them, hold on to them.                OUR WAR ON DIVORCE   We are providing the tools and techniques to keep your relationship from heading down the path of divorce. Everything about your relationship takes work, some things more than others. We are not trying to stop your divorce if you have made the decision to do so, we are trying to make you aware of the things that would drive you and your partner down that path. Get the professional help your relationship deserves. Surprise yourself in finding the true happiness that you both deserve.  Soul mates are made and not found.          Learn More About What We Do: Divorce Mediators and Family Counseling  Non-profit as Family Advocates "Conscious Coupling" Book "Conscious Coupling", Our FB Page Dana's Individual and Couple's Counseling Dana Greco's Parent Book    Mediation and Counseling Parenting Book

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Does your partner have fond memories of the ex?

LINK TO VIDEO  Video Vignettes   Ex Lover Video     #ConsciousCoupling means being fully aware of self, your partner and your relationship    This video is the first of a series of weekly videos designed to demonstrate how a couple should not behave if they are interested in #ConsciousCoupling         CONSCIOUS COUPLING   Is about being aware of your self, your partner and your relationship.  It's about asking questions and being curious.  It's about giving your partner what he or she needs, equal to what you give to yourself.          Learn More About What We Do: Divorce Mediators and Family Counseling  Non-profit as Family Advocates "Conscious Coupling" Book "Conscious Coupling", Our FB Page Dana's Individual and Couple's Counseling Dana Greco's Parent Book    Conscious Coupling Parenting Book

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