Are You and Your Partner Spending Too Much Money?

Financial Planning is KEY!     It's not unlikely that when two people move in together that money, and the way it is spent, will play a big part in the relationship. If you're responsible with money you could luck out and find someone the same way, or you could end up with someone who loves to splurge and vice versa. No matter the situation, there will come a time in the relationship where you will need to sit down and have a real talk about your finances. This sounds scary and unpleasant, but it's necessary and here at #ConsciousCoupling we're here to help make that conversation easier.   Right off the bat you need to make sure you stay positive throughout the entire conversation. Getting all heated up and angry will just make the conversation much more stressful and nothing will get established. However, you also need to remove the emotional aspect from the conversation and just focus on the facts. If you're looking to buy a house and the one you really want is out of your price range you need to take into account. You can't focus on the fact that the house that you can afford isn't as nice as the one you want but you can focus on the ways you can use that extra money you now have to make this home everything you want.   #ConsciousCoupling urges you to PLAN! Planning is the first step towards a successful outcome. Take into account things such as your separate incomes, your joint income, how much your bills every month add up to and who will pay for what, and how much extra money you'll have to put aside to save each month. This sounds like a pain but it will be worth it in the end when you have enough money to both put a down payment on a house and travel to Europe in two years. The best way to ensure that you are continuously planning is to have meetings at least every two weeks - not just a short text conversation but really sit down and talk about it. Trust us, you'll thank us when you can retire at 65 without a worry.                        OUR WAR ON DIVORCE   We are providing the tools and techniques to keep your relationship from heading down the path of divorce. Everything about your relationship takes work, some things more than others. We are not trying to stop your divorce if you have made the decision to do so, we are trying to make you aware of the things that would drive you and your partner down that path. Get the professional help your relationship deserves. Surprise yourself in finding the true happiness that you both deserve.  Soul mates are made and not found.          Learn More About What We Do: Divorce Mediators and Family Counseling  Non-profit as Family Advocates "HappyToday, Divorced Tomorrow?" Book "Happy Today, Divorced Tomorrow?" FB Group Dana's Individual and Couple's Counseling Dana Greco's Parent Book    Mediation and Counseling Parenting Book

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Are You Too Jealous?

Jealousy Is OK Just Don't Overdo It     Jealousy can come in many forms by both men and women. There are times when jealousy is appropriate and when it is inappropriate. Rage can be a result of anger you felt because of jealousy that was never dealt with or talked about with your partner.   Here at Conscious Coupling we've realized that jealousy stems from trust issues. If you are able to go into a relationship and feel confident that your partner will remain faithful until proven wrong (hopefully you won't be) then you should consider yourself lucky. However, many people go into a relationship having been hurt before - by either a romantic partner, parent, or a friend - and as a result are not one-hundred percent comfortable completely trusting anyone but themselves. If you're one of those people, that's okay, we're here to help you weed out those you can trust.   The good type of jealousy comes from the type of relationship where you see your partner as such a great person that you feel threatened other people are going to see them as the same and want them. Most jealous people act that way in every relationship no matter whom they're dating. Conscious Coupling believes that the best way to avoid becoming jealous is to establish a higher level of self-esteem. If you feel good about yourself you'll also feel that you have no reason to worry because why would your partner want to be with someone who isn't you? However, jealousy can turn very ugly. For example, say your partner slowly starts putting more work into their appearance for work just to feel better about themselves. If you're a naturally jealous person you can take this action as a sign that there is someone at work they are trying to impress. Since you believe so strongly that there is someone no matter how many times your partner says there isn't you won't believe them. Keep this up long enough you could quite possibly lead the relationship right to its end. The moral of the story is that jealousy isn't a good look on anyone.                        OUR WAR ON DIVORCE   We are providing the tools and techniques to keep your relationship from heading down the path of divorce. Everything about your relationship takes work, some things more than others. We are not trying to stop your divorce if you have made the decision to do so, we are trying to make you aware of the things that would drive you and your partner down that path. Get the professional help your relationship deserves. Surprise yourself in finding the true happiness that you both deserve.  Soul mates are made and not found.          Learn More About What We Do: Divorce Mediators and Family Counseling  Non-profit as Family Advocates "HappyToday, Divorced Tomorrow?" Book "Happy Today, Divorced Tomorrow?" FB Group Dana's Individual and Couple's Counseling Dana Greco's Parent Book    Mediation and Counseling Parenting Book

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Why It's Important to Distinguish Anger from Rage

Preventing Anger from Turning Into Rage     By textbook definition the difference between anger and rage is that anger is a feeling of annoyance or hostility while rage is the actual act of violent, uncontrollable anger. Basically, rage is the next step after anger; if cold water is calm, anger is when the water begins to heat up and bubble, and rage is when it's really boiling.   #ConsciousCoupling reminds us that anger is experienced by everyone; some more than others, but nonetheless everyone has been angry at some point in their life. Rage on the other hand is experienced much less often but is always extreme. There is research that suggests that suppressed anger is an underlying cause to anxiety and depression. Anger that isn't dealt with right away builds and builds until it explodes and can eventually lead to the destruction of a relationship, romantic or not, as well as health problems such as sudden heart attacks and high blood pressure. In many cases where rage in expressed, it is because someone is trying to encourage the enraged person to become that way which right off the bat should be an indication that this provoker is dangerous.   In order to prevent your anger from turning into rage, you should know how to better manage your anger. #ConsciousCoupling is here to help. First, you need to accept that you are angry because suppressing that feeling will only lead to an irrational expression later on. Second, you need to know why you are angry; you need to find the origin of your anger and figure out the best way to deal with that issue and/or person. Third, you need to figure out how you are going to deal with your anger. You should visualize a solution, ask yourself if you want people to remember you as an angry person, and remember that repressed anger blocks the ability to engage in constructive problem-solving.                           OUR WAR ON DIVORCE   We are providing the tools and techniques to keep your relationship from heading down the path of divorce. Everything about your relationship takes work, some things more than others. We are not trying to stop your divorce if you have made the decision to do so, we are trying to make you aware of the things that would drive you and your partner down that path. Get the professional help your relationship deserves. Surprise yourself in finding the true happiness that you both deserve.  Soul mates are made and not found.          Learn More About What We Do: Divorce Mediators and Family Counseling  Non-profit as Family Advocates "HappyToday, Divorced Tomorrow?" Book "Happy Today, Divorced Tomorrow?" FB Group Dana's Individual and Couple's Counseling Dana Greco's Parent Book    Mediation and Counseling Parenting Book

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How important Are Shared Interests?

Be Yourself and a People Person          There is a difference between having things in common, and having similar interests. It is advised that you should look for a partner that shares your hobbies with you but that isn't always possible to do, or the best solution. The chances of you finding a partner who loves to ski, hike, paint, read, and travel as much as you do is slim. If you are lucky enough to find someone who has all the same hobbies as you it won't always necessary work out if you don't have the same personality traits in common. If one of you is very wary to trust anyone, it doesn't matter how much you both love to hike because the relationship is doomed from the beginning. However, having things in common such as a love to learn or to explore another's interests will bring you a strong relationship. The saying that opposites attract is extremely true - if one of you loves to hike and the other would rather watch old, black and white, silent movies you can find a new hobby by using each other. Another example could be between someone who didn't finish college and one with a masters degree - the higher educated one could inspire the other to go back to school. It's important to be able to learn from your partner, to find your own sense of self, but to also find a new version of yourself. You need to be able to separate your interests from your goals and values. The importance of marriage to you and wanting to create your own family are values and goals, respectively. Goals and values are things you hope to accomplish or use to guide who you are as a person. It's easy to get lost in a person, to be who they want you to be, but if that is the case then that relationship isn't one that you should be involved in.                  OUR WAR ON DIVORCE   We are providing the tools and techniques to keep your relationship from heading down the path of divorce. Everything about your relationship takes work, some things more than others. We are not trying to stop your divorce if you have made the decision to do so, we are trying to make you aware of the things that would drive you and your partner down that path. Get the professional help your relationship deserves. Surprise yourself in finding the true happiness that you both deserve.  Soul mates are made and not found.          Learn More About What We Do: Divorce Mediators and Family Counseling  Non-profit as Family Advocates "HappyToday, Divorced Tomorrow?" Book "Happy Today, Divorced Tomorrow?" FB Group Dana's Individual and Couple's Counseling Dana Greco's Parent Book    Mediation and Counseling Parenting Book

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