| How to Both Talk & Listen Effectively It's easy to confuse someone when it comes to what you are trying to say. It's important to always say what you mean and mean what you say no matter what. Just choose your words carefully to avoid a miscommunication. Here are some ways to both effectively talk and listen: -You must always stand by what you say and insist that what you are saying is accurate even if your partner seems to disagree. You don't need to share everything but you need to be sure in what you are sharing. If something is wrong it's easy to say that you're fine when asked if you are okay but that's not always best. You shouldn't be afraid to share your feelings with your partner. -It's important to have a two-way communication and not always just be the one talking or just the one listening. With this situation things are likely to be misheard. If you are giving your partner a list of instructions about what you need them to do and don't ask if they understand everything might not get done because they didn't want to tell you they were unsure about something. -Be clear about what you are saying and why you are saying it, which requires a bit of an analysis of the words sometimes. However, it's important because the wrong thing said at the wrong time could lead to an even bigger issue, one that might not be able to be resolved. -Again, you should never be afraid to tell your partner how you really feel. You should feel comfortable checking in with them whenever you're unsure about something they've said or done and vice versa. You need to be able to respond honestly and be able to prepare yourself for their honesty. -You need to be an active listener. You need to understand the difference between reflecting the content of what someone is saying to and reflecting the feeling of what they are saying. Reflecting the content shows that you aren't listening to the main point of a message someone is telling you. For example, say your partner is late to a date because their boss was yelling at them. Reflecting the content would be if you asked why it was that they did to get yelled at; reflecting the feeling would be asking if they needed to talk about their feelings regarding the situation. -You need to realize if you have filters on what you think. What this means is that if someone you know annoys you a great deal, almost everything they do and say will annoy you. This is the same in relationships - if you have decided that your partner doesn't feel the same way about you that they used to no matter how much they tell you they love you you won't believe them. Not being aware of your filters will distort any message and possibly cause a problem out of something that could be fixed very simply had those filters not existed. | 
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